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Friday, August 01, 2008

Baby blues

Well, I've officially been a parent to a two year old for a little over three months now, and I thought I'd share a little of my newly acquired parenting wisdom so everyone can benefit from my experience.

* Duct tape does not make a good babysitter (it tends to strip the paint off the wall when you pull him down).

* Boys will pee anywhere, at any time, on anything.

* Toddlers are like angry, violent drunks or happy, I-love-you-man drunks for a lot of the time. But keep in mind that they are not actually drunk and resist the temptation to give them whiskey.

* Do not, under any circumstances, allow your kid put his hand into his diaper.

* Dogs are the best tool for cleaning up after dinnertime tantrums.

* "Yay" is a good all-purpose word.

* Teaching your kid to yell "Da plane! Da plane!" every time a plane flies overhead does not make you a bad parent. However, dressing him in a white suit may make you a bad parent.

* They don't make dog-sized saddles for a reason.

.:4 comments | baked by pie at 10.06 AM | permalink:.