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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Creature Feature

Seven months ago, I imparted all the great wisdom I'd gained from having been a parent for three months [pops]. Now that it's been a full ten months since having acquired this adorable little demon in toddler's clothing, I thought I'd share a few more important and insightful things I've learned since becoming a parent.

* Dogs and children are rivals for parental affection and will fight to the death to receive it, if given the chance.

* Xander will never miss the opportunity for a group hug. If Rob and I are in any way touching, he will always horn in on the action, usually managing to grope one or the other of us inappropriately at the same time.

* It's possible to work yourself up into a screaming, frothing frenzy over just about anything. If you do it right you can even get the dogs worked up so that everyone in a 3-block radius will be able to benefit from the screeching and barking extended remix.

* Xander will repeat whatever it is he's just said until you either repeat it or acknowledge it, no matter how inane. Example: "Doggie!" he cries, holding up his stuffed seeing eye dog toy. Two seconds later, "Doggie!" A further 5 seconds later, "Mummy! Doggie!" as he shoves the mangy thing in my face. When I finally say, "Yes, Xander, that's a doggie," he'll move onto the next thing on his list.

* I never thought I'd be so ecstatic about anyone taking a dump in the proper place.

* Toddlers really can't hold up their end of a telephone conversation.

* Toddlers have some sort of unnatural radar that tells them whenever you're getting dressed or undressed. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that Rob's using Xander as a scout to report back when I'm unclothed and vulnerable to ambush.

* If a toddler has been mining for nose gold and you tell him to stop, he will immediately try to shove the offending finger in your ear, eye or mouth.

* If you laugh at something, your toddler will laugh right along with you, even though he has no idea what's funny. They're the ultimate audience for a failed stand-up comedian.

* Peeling a screaming toddler off your leg is harder than it looks.

Categories: lists, daily life, photographs

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentines Day Schmaltz

In honor of Valentines Day, I thought I'd share the story of my own knight in shining armor.

In 1994, I ended up penniless and homeless in London. I'm not going to get into the events that led me there, that's a horrifying story of mistakes and stupidity for another day. Suffice it to say that homeless and penniless is where I was. I had recently received my official vendor card for selling the Big Issue [pops], although I was admittedly crap at it and wasn't selling many.


That's not a scary picture at all, is it?
One night in January, 1995 I had gone to the Royal George on Tottenham Court Road in central London to meet up with some friends. I was standing near the bar with my friend Dave, and I just sort of fell into conversation with a guy nearby who I'd assumed was friends with Dave. I thought he was cute, but didn't think much more about it.

The next week, I returned to the Royal George and saw this guy again. He was on a date with an American girl, but he couldn't understand her New York accent, and she couldn't understand his West London accent. So I offered my services as a translater. I know, I'm all heart.

His date eventually got annoyed and left (according to the details Rob just filled in for me, she sounds like a bit of a drama queen), and I dragged Rob, with some friends of mine, to rock night at a club called the Astoria just down the road. It was unfortunately so loud in there we couldn't really talk so we wrote notes back and forth on one of my copies of the Big Issue (and you have no idea how much I wish I still had it.)

Well apart from a few bumps in the road, we started seeing each other, and when Rob found out that I was homeless, he gallantly purchased every single copy of the Big Issue I had, and found me a place to stay with some of his friends in Watford. He even helped me find a job, which had been impossible to do previously without having an address.

I really owe everything I have now to Rob. He picked me up when I was at my lowest, and helped get me back on my feet. He was unbelievably generous and kind, overlooking the homelessness, which the majority of people would not have been able to do. He saw that I was worth something, even though to the rest of the world, it appeared that I wasn't worth anything. And for that I'm eternally grateful.

And with that, I wish you all a Happy Valentines Day!

Barf bags available at the exits for a small fee.

Categories: the past, photographs

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Monday, January 07, 2008

Bring back googie!

I was reading this article (pops) about whether the city should tear down an old Denny's (previously Manning's Cafeteria & Buffet), built in 1964, which has been boarded up for some years. The question arose because the architectural style of the building is "googie", and the majority of examples of googie architecture all over the country have already been destroyed. Although Seattle does have one of the best examples: the Space Needle.

I'm a huge fan of the googie style, and I firmly believe we need to bring it back. I think the Denny's/Manning's should be renovated and turned back into the building it once was during its heyday in the 60s. Hell, I'd eat there. All new hotels should be built in the googie style, as well. How great would it be to drive down the "hotel alley" in your city and see this all around you?


Then you could go across the street and eat dinner here:


And watch a movie here:


So in conclusion: bring back googie! And if you're interested, check out the gallery of googie architecture at Space Age City (click on the Gallery link).

Categories: current events, photographs

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

For everything there is a season

We just got back from London last night. Rob's dad Monty had a bad fall down the stairs, either caused by a minor heart attack, or he had the heart attack during or after the fall. He was in hospital last weekend, but appeared to be doing better, even talking and walking around the ward, and was moved out of intensive care. When Rob called his mum last Monday, he'd taken a turn for the worse, having possibly had a stroke, and was bleeding into his brain.

So Rob and I hopped on a plane, and managed to get to London just in time for Rob to see his dad one last time. I know it was very hard for Rob to see his dad like that, so small and bruised, unconscious in that hospital bed, but he knows it's best that his dad didn't linger and suffer for long.

After a lot of hassle trying to prove that Monty was actually Jewish, they managed to get the funeral set up for Sunday, so Rob and I stayed for that. Monty was buried at an Orthodox Jewish cemetary (by his request) with a lovely and moving ceremony, and all of their relatives came back to Rob's mum's house after. It was a hard week for Rob, and I'm sure he's glad we're home again.

Anyway, I don't have anything silly to post at the moment, just wanted to let any of you out there reading where I've been. We didn't really do any sightseeing, although we did briefly visit the British Museum, and wandered around central London while I was shopping for an outfit for the funeral. You can see our pics here (pops).

You will be greatly missed, Monty. Rest in peace.

Categories: daily life, photographs

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