Friday, February 29, 2008

Random lists that no one cares about

8 Things I'm Passionate About
- Music
- Animals
- Rob
- Computers
- The kidlet
- Cheese
- Coffee
- Pain relief

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
- Be a great mum
- Move to another country (ok, a different one)
- Retire early
- Rebuild family relationships
- Write a book
- Adopt a second child
- Celebrate my 50th anniversary
- Play in another band

8 Things I Say Often
- Shit shit shit (has to be said 3 times)
- Pfft
- Good dog!
- Bad dog!
- I hate my job
- Get off the fuckin' road, if you can't drive
- Fuck
- Oaf (I'm trying to bring it back into popularity - and failing)

8 Books I've Read Recently
- Blaze by Stephen King
- Toddler Adoption: A Weaver's Craft
- Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
- What to Expect, The Toddler Years
- Soul Music by Terry Pratchett
- Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
- The Science of Discworld
- Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over
- While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles
- Let it Grow - Eric Clapton
- Optimistic Thought - Blues Traveler
- Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails
- For You Blue - The Beatles
- World in My Eyes - Depeche Mode
- Isolation - John Lennon
- Tangled Up in Blue - Bob Dylan


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Friday, February 15, 2008

Friday of Lists

6 books that didn't make it into print
1) Cats, Cats, Everywhere! a children's book by Erwin Schrodinger
2) Safely Mixing Medications by Heath Ledger (too soon?)
3) Anna Nicole Smith's Steps to Sobriety
4) Making Your Marriage Last by Pamela Anderson
5) Curing Cancer Through Meditation by Tom Cruise (ghost-written by Xenu)
6) Quantum Mechanics Made Simple by George W. Bush

Useful curses for the new millennium
1) May your internet connection always be down
2) May you appear on a "reality" show
3) May you drop your expensive new cell phone into a Port-o-Potty
4) May your job be outsourced to "Bob" in India
5) A pox on your house (you can't argue with the classics)


.:4 comments | baked by pie at 11.20 AM | permalink:.



Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Pre-Valentine's Day Haikus

roses can be red
violets are often blue
valentine's day blows

bogus holiday
just to sell cards and candy
you sent flowers, right?

Steak and BJ Day
the male alternative to
sentimental tripe

shot in the buttocks
by cupid's arrow of schmaltz
now you have herpes


.:2 comments | baked by pie at 9.40 AM | permalink:.